


Of Beards and Pick-Up Lines

by ninetiesnecklace



Category: Being Human (UK), The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Comedy, Humour, M/M, Sass, first encounters, pub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 17:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4445387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninetiesnecklace/pseuds/ninetiesnecklace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a night out that turns more sassy than Mitchell had thought.</p>
<p>__________________<br/>Written for the first week of the Britchell Contribution Fest, loosely based on the Jealousy-prompt and stored here because it turned out a little longer than planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Beards and Pick-Up Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Anders is written by my lovely ConsultingFili, Mitchell by yours truly.

The pub was crowded and quite loud, the obligatory 70s rock anthems blaring over the stereo. Mitchell paid his pint and remained seated at the bar – most of the tables were already taken and he didn’t have company anyway. Yet.

Moderately curious he let his eyes wander around the room once more, silently betting against the guy in the plaid shirt playing pool when his gaze was drawn by a group of five, no, six men who just exploded in a laughing fit. The Irishman grinned to himself despite not having heard the joke, just due to the simple fact that those guys were making the best of their time. And the blond guy at the far end of the table seemed to have an idea or two as to how to improve his night. The reason Mitchell noticed him was, curiously enough, his black dress shirt and the fancy grey suit jacket that hung over the backrest of his chair. This wasn’t your usual after-work pub and that way the blond stood out. And because he was fairly attractive. Pity he already seemed very interested in the man next to him if the seemingly casual touches and loud laughter at whatever he had said were anything to go by.

Oh well, Mitchell thought and returned to his pint, if blondie were alone… but he wouldn’t barge in like that. Besides, who knew who else stumbled through the door in due time. Not that he was necessarily out to get laid. So far no one else had caught his eye and if he just spent the night having a few beers it was just as well. The week had been stressful enough but if an attractive opportunity presented itself he surely wouldn’t be averse to the idea.

Mitchell’s fingers drummed on the counter to the sound of another 70s rock song when the blond man appeared a good meter next to him, waving at the barkeeper and ordering something. He leaned against the bar and let his eyes travel through the pub while he waited. Standing up he was shorter than Mitchell had thought and only now did he notice the dimples that sat in the well-trimmed beard.

Before he could look away the blond caught his gaze and Mitchell forced an awkward smile. Busted. He hadn’t wanted to stare but he had no chance to explain himself when the blond threw him a broad and incredibly sassy grin.

“See something you like?” The dimples deepened, not the only thing that caught Mitchell off guard.

"Sorry, what?" the Irishman asked and leaned over to the other man, not entirely sure whether he had understood him correctly. To his ears it had sounded like he was just hit on.

“Do you see something you like?” the other man repeated, his grin becoming broader, “I mean my beard is rather impressive.”

Okay, so he hadn’t misunderstood him. Mitchell chuckled in disbelief at the second part of the comment. “Yeah... looks like a lot of work went into the grooming.”

“And that's where you're wrong,” blondie said in a voice that conveyed the importance of the following words, “It's this awesome by nature.”

This had to be the worst conversation opener Mitchell had heard in a long time. Still he couldn’t help but smile at the smug expression on the other man’s face.

“Is that right? All trimmed neatly to the same length?” he asked and squinted his eyes, trying to get a closer look at said facial hair, “Come on, you can be honest with me.”

In a casual move the blond closed the distance between them. “I am honest, never been more serious in my life. I love my beard, that's nothing I’d ever joke about.”

To drive the point home he ran his right through the indeed very well cared for beard. “If I knew you better I’d let you experience it first-hand.”

God, what a cocky guy. He knew the type well enough to know about the charming quality of those playful comments – which wasn’t to say that it didn’t work on him. In fact, the Irishman felt pretty well entertained so far and the direction the blond’s words were taking was quite promising.

“How much better would you want to know me before I can support your rampaging ego?” Mitchell asked with a grin.

“Mmh, let me see, I think I’d have to buy you a drink first,” the other man pretended to consider, “and then you can start telling me how much you enjoy my company and my beard.”

This time, Mitchell laughed loudly. To say that self-confidence was sexy was one of the corniest things out there but this man was a prime example for the truth behind the platitude.

Mitchell finished his beer with a large gulp and placed the glass on the counter, pointing towards it with a grin. “You can start with the drink part right away and we'll see about the rest.”

In that moment, the blond’s ordered pints arrived as if it had been planned – a circumstance to which Mitchell inwardly shook his head. Luck was on blondie’s side.

“There you go,” he smirked and slid one glass over to Mitchell.

“Wasn't that supposed to be the drink for your special friend over there?” the brunet asked with a nod at the group of men back at the table. Not that he wanted to get rid of the blond, quite contrary, but he was in no mood to have a pissed off rugby player (at least that’s what the guy looked like to Mitchell) on his heels. The guy didn’t seem to miss him, though – he was wrapped up in another conversation.

The blond shrugged. “I’ve been talking to him for half an hour now and it turned out he's not that special after all.”

_Interesting_. “His loss, my gain,” Mitchell lifted his pint, “Cheers”

“You bet,” the blond shot him another overly confident grin and clinked his glass against Mitchell’s, “Cheers.”

Mitchell took a swallow from his pint, set it back on the bar and raised an eyebrow. “So... what do you want to know, then?”

“How about why such a handsome guy is sitting all on his own?” the blond didn’t miss a beat with his answer, “Got stood up?”

“Believe it or not I actually came here alone,” Mitchell said, the mixture of flirting and straightforwardness making him feel at ease. That was exactly the kind of playful way he liked to chat. “So no, you sadly can't swoop in and soothe my pain of being let down.”

“What a pity,” the other man answered with a lingering look at Mitchell’s lips, “I’d have offered to kiss it better.”

“Maybe if I knew you better,” Mitchell echoed the other man’s words with a grin.

The blond leaned a little closer to him, his blue eyes sparkling in mischief. “Well, that can be taken care of if you like.”

Mitchell actually did like that. Somewhere in those few minutes of conversation the Irishman had become hooked on all that cocky flirting that so nicely improved his night so far. The blond man was definitely easy on the eyes and well, he knew how to sell himself. Mitchell wasn’t going to pass up on a chance to find out if he was all talk or not. Now that the other guy was apparently entirely forgotten and all that smug attention was focussed on him this would be fairly easy. “How about we start with a name?”

“Anders Johnson. And yours, handsome stranger?”

“Mitchell.”

Anders nodded in acknowledgement. “So, Mitchell without a full name, what are you doing all alone on a Saturday in a pub?”

"I'm crap at dancing so I figured I'd rather have a few beers around here,” Mitchell said, masking the fact as a joke at which Anders grinned accordingly. “Yourself? You look fairly fancy, Anders Johnson.”

“I feel you about the dancing part,” Anders laughed in a relaxed chuckle, giving Mitchell a glimpse past the act which he definitely liked, “Well, I was at work and it got late so I decided to have a drink and let the evening unfold her wonders.”

The wink after that hell of a stylistic device seemed more relaxed too, less insistent on convincing Mitchell of his ready wit.

“Very lyrical,” Mitchell commented, “I'd ask whether you're a poet but your shiny clothes and the fact that you just mentioned a job point towards the contrary.”

“No, not a poet,” Anders grinned, “I work in PR and my job is to enhance the misadventures of the rich and famous.”

Ah. That explained the unwavering confidence. “And how about your own misadventures?”

“My own?” Anders’ voice hitched in surprise, “I don't have any. Only adventures.”

“Sounds intriguing,” Mitchell laughed, “you wouldn't happen to be in need of a sidekick?”

“Sure, you’re very welcome to join in,” Anders answered with an appreciative nod. If that didn’t sound promising, Mitchell thought, undressing Anders in his mind already. The actual physical implementation of this surely wasn’t far away.

“A hero and a sidekick is not enough for an adventure, though…” Anders added with a grin on his lips, “I fear we need another person for the plot twist.”

Okay, that was not what Mitchell had anticipated. He raised an eyebrow at the suggestion and took a sip of his beer to mask his surprise. He barely knew the guy and he was already proposing a threesome?

“Mhm, I don't know,” Mitchell said, doubt clearly ringing in his voice despite the non-chalant tone, “that might draw away the attention from the main objective. Your not-so-special friend isn't my type and I’m not a sharing kind of guy.”

That wasn’t entirely true but Anders didn’t need to know that. No, Mitchell wanted the blond for himself and he sure as hell didn’t need someone else to take up space.

“Besides,” he added with a cocksure grin, “I'm sure I can entertain you well enough by myself.”

Anders’ answer was adorned with a wolfish smile. “I might need a little advance of your abilities to know whether you’re telling the truth.”

Mitchell’s lips curled in a slow smile. Not so insistent on further company after all, it seemed. The Irishman leaned forward and stretched out his right, grasping Anders lightly by the neck and pulled him close. Anders’ lips were as soft as they looked and parted immediately under Mitchell’s kiss. Teasing with his tongue Mitchell kept the playful character of their conversation to barely mask the underlying heat. His hand slid from Anders’ neck to his cheek, thumbing through the soft beard and along his jaw line. With a little nip to his lower lip Mitchell pulled back.

Anders’ eyes were fixed on him, lips still parted which Mitchell noted with a complacent smile. “You were saying about needing a plot twist?”

“Let me just get back to my ‘friend’ to tell him that he lost his beer to a handsome stranger,” Anders grinned contentedly, “And to get my jacket.”

Smiling his best smile Mitchell nodded, giving Anders a once-over as he hurried to the table he had occupied before. This night would prove to be interesting and that kiss had definitely sparked his interest further. Good thing Anders’ not-so-special friend had turned out boring. Finishing his beer Mitchell looked over to the small group Anders had hung out with before. Where was he? Mitchell narrowed his eyes and finally made out Anders sitting on a bench opposite Mr Boring, slipping him a business card with another one of those dimpled smiles.

Irritation hit Mitchell out of the blue. Just what exactly did Anders think he was doing? He looked perfectly at ease, talking to the guy in a cheery way and, essentially, flirting with him openly. Either he had entirely forgotten Mitchell in the few steps between the bar and the table – which was unlikely, not to congratulate himself but that kiss must’ve made an impression – or he was more insistent on the idea of a threesome than Mitchell had thought.

For a moment the Irishman considered just leaving and let Anders find another distraction for the evening. Yet something about his teasing demeanour had dug its claws into Mitchell. He thought he had made sufficiently clear that he didn’t intent to invite a third party to their hook-up. And he certainly wouldn’t let Anders take him for a fool. _Oh no, babe, you’re coming home with me alone._

Mitchell grabbed his jacket and started to saunter over to Anders and the other guy just in time for another laugh and arm-grab on Anders’ part. The blond shot him a cheeky grin that, whether Mitchell liked it or not, decided for him: he would get rid of the other guy. Not in a mean way, though, it wasn’t his fault that Anders was incredibly easy. Just clear enough for him to back off and leave Mitchell alone with the blond for good.

The idea of that little challenge made Mitchell grin, easing the slight annoyance he had felt before. Storytelling seemed to be Anders’ thing, right? Well, that was something Mitchell could easily keep up with.

“Anders!” Mitchell exclaimed when he reached the table and grabbed him by the shoulder, “fancy seeing you here! I didn't know you were back in the country!”

Before Anders had the chance to deny him Mitchell slid next to him on the bench, sitting deliberately close to him.

Anders didn’t scoot away from him but looked at him in utter confusion. “What? What are you..?”

“That skiing trip must've been great,” Mitchell said and gave it his best to sound cheery and not be distracted by the weirdly attractive nose crinkle Anders unknowingly provided, “I checked the weather online and it looked like there were fan _tastic_ conditions.”

Mitchell turned to the other guy as if he had just noticed his presence and gave a friendly wave. “Hi, I'm Mitchell.”

The other guy’s response was an automatic one. His lips moved while his eyes showed clearly just how confused he was by Mitchell’s sudden and most of all loud appearance.

“Jeff, nice to meet you.”

“I wasn't skiing,” Anders protested, forehead creased in either annoyance or prolonged confusion.

“Ah, that's right, snowboarding for you,” Mitchell said with an easy laugh and leaned across the table to get closer to Jeff. “You must have noticed those thighs.”

Poor Jeff still stared at Mitchell with wide eyes, not knowing what to do with the Irishman’s suggestive smile, his expression now bordering on discomfort.

“Mitchell, what are you…“ Anders started again but Mitchell paid him no mind, continuing his story in the same animated voice he had started it.

“Anyway, how was it? I hope you enjoyed yourself. You know, I recently cleaned out all those boxes in my flat, reorganising things and all that, and I found the pictures. I can't believe it's been so long since we went on that skiing trip... feels like yesterday.”

Anders opened his mouth in reply but this time Jeff was faster. “So you guys..."

The rest of the sentence drowned in an awkward gesture between them.

Mitchell nodded, getting more and more into his own storytelling. Especially now that lovely Jeff was helping him out so nicely.

“Yeah, that was back when we were dating,” Mitchell smiled and turned to Anders with one eyebrow cheekily raised, “You remember the picture I took of you in front of the fire place? I found that, too.”

Leaning back to Jeff again the Irishman continued, “Man, we had so much fun... barely left the lodge if you know what I mean. Yeah, good times,” Mitchell gave a happy sigh, calculating the exact amount of time it needed to infiltrate Jeff’s mind before looking at him and Anders in faked genuine curiosity. “Anyway, what are you boys up to?”

Mitchell wasn’t sure whether Anders was pissed off about his sudden interference or if that face meant that he was holding back a laugh. The tightly pressed lips could point in either direction but if the glinting in the blue eyes was anything to go by it was looking like Anders had understood what Mitchell was doing.

“Oh that’s right,” Anders joined in and answered the question on Mitchell’s mind, “I didn't know you fully recovered after that fateful incident you had at the ski ramp.”

Anders nodded towards Mitchell’s groin with fake concern in his voice. Ski ramp? Mitchell did his best not to lose his carefully built up composure in a sudden laugh.

“Yeah, it took a while…” he said with a grave nod only to break out in a grin again, “but I can assure you it's better than ever. Haven't had any complaints.”

“Oh yeah?” Anders raised one eyebrow and continued to look at Mitchell’s groin when Jeff gave a nervous laugh from opposite the table.

“Well, guys, my friends want to leave, I think I'm heading home with them…”

“Oh, you're leaving already?” Mitchell asked, “Jeff, why don't you stay for another beer? We're having such a nice time! Besides, there are still so many stories you haven't heard and I'm sure you'll enjoy hearing about...”

“Oh no, thanks, that's very nice, but I think I've already heard about this one,” Jeff hastened to interrupt Mitchell’s stream of words, “Well, it's late and you know…” He cleared his throat awkwardly and said in Anders’ direction, “It was nice meeting you, see you around.”

“Take care, Jeff,” Mitchell grinned and waved after poor Jeff who all but ripped his jacket off the chair and left in a hurry.

Anders looked at Mitchell as if to scold him in good humour. “Seems you have scared him off.”

“Good.” Mitchell couldn’t help his voice sounding a little gruffer than expected.

“What a pity. He wasn't special, but easy on the eyes. He would have made a nice plot twist,” Anders grinned as he watched Jeff run out of the pub to catch up with his circle of friends.

Then, he turned to Mitchell. “So, about that skiing trip: we had just one night in front of the fire? I thought of us as more like having a ‘not leave the place for four whole days in a row’ kind a thing.”

“That was the night I took a very compromising picture of you which is still very close to my... uh, heart,” Mitchell returned Anders’ grin, “Other than that you're absolutely right. The money on the ski pass was definitely wasted but we didn't really care.”

“And are we thinking about doing another trip? I might want to improve my snowboard skills by not using my ski pass again, I think.”

Mitchell tilted his head and gave Anders a cheeky look. “Your commitment is very respectable. I'd say that can be easily arranged.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
